Unfolding Myself

I’m on my two feet. I attempt to let go of any negative presumptions of the world around me and judgemental thoughts. I’m allowing myself to be engaged in the world around me. I hear my fellow peers laughing going down the gravel road, rain from the past storm dripping from the leaves to the ground, and the sound of a squirrel going up the tree. I unfold myself like I would a piece of paper; you can see where I am creased from being set in my ways before, and you can see where I am wrinkled up from damage that has been done before. I have scars, and I wear them like a trophy; it’s just like I won a war. I don’t try to hide them anymore, because in Japan broken objects are often repaired with gold. Nobody is ashamed of gold. I let myself be open, and I accept I am free. My past and medical records are something I can’t unsee. I acknowledge my struggles and bring them to the light. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable in this moment, because before I hid behind doctors doors & pharmaceuticals.

The Guilford Woods is my place where I am connecting with, and I’m connecting more with nature every day. Just today I found myself pausing even on the sidewalk because I thought the leaves blowing in the wind sounded beautiful. A few months ago, I would’ve been running to my car not paying attention. I’ve had this disconnection with nature I never really acknowledged because I was never connected in the first place. I have a rough health history I’ve had since a child. After you’re missing one and a half of your two kidneys, your parents want to keep eyes on you at all times. Everything becomes cautionary. Doctors are wanting you as a kid to stay inside the classroom or sit on a bench, while everything in me wanted to be like the rest of the kids. I acknowledge my health seperated my own relationship with nature. So, I am finding ways to connect with the outside world at twenty one years old. I may be off to a late start, but I think I have a pretty good excuse.

Connecting with nature also involves acknowledging what happened in my place before I got there. I’m taking a look at the history of my place, and I find information about the Quakers interesting. Quakers have found a relationship with Guilford Woods and The Underground Railroad. According to The Guilford College Woods: Assessment, Planning, and Recommended Strategies for Preservation, Quakers of Society of Friends had worry about the issue regarding the failure of ending the act of slavery; this was a big deal in the past and much disagreement was present. The clear light was given that slavery was in-humane and they would not be part of this act. 

2 thoughts on “Unfolding Myself”

  1. I love this idea of unfolding yourself and allowing nature to fill those spaces. It’s something that seems to invite us all to participate in.

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